Lee Thorn - Jhai - quick personal update

Dear family, friends and board,

I hope this finds you and your family well.

I have debated whether or not to send this. On the one hand, most people on this list are most interested in the Jhai Foundation and just see me as a messenger for it. That's pretty cool and I respect that.

On the other hand, many people on this list and I have a relationship. We've played together or worked together or both - online and in person. It is to you I particularly address this message.

On August 7, my mother, Shirley Thorn, aged 88, died. It was a good death. She was cogent, alert and accepting. I was nearby her for most of her last two days and she had a chance to talk with most of her near relatives before she died.

I am now caught up in all the things I must do as an elder in my family. I've experienced every emotion I have, every day this last week. It is very uncomfortable. Sometimes I really would like to get out of these feelings. I don't. I mourn.

There is nothing particularly unusual about any of this, of course. As my grandma used to say, 'it comes with the territory', and when she said this she usually meant 'it is just life'.

I guess you know that Jhai grew from Bounthanh Phommasathit's and my mourning about the effects of war on people and particularly our own close families.

We wanted to do the opposite of war.

What I am learning over all these years is how allowing myself to mourn forms me. I have no idea whether it is healing or not. I just know I am changed by it. Through it I can let go of important things - like pride and control - a little bit ... and get a few things done.

The feeling of 'Jhai', the Lao word, is the opposite of war. It allows awareness of larger and larger communities. It is that feeling you get for a moment or two in the midst of a family or community discussion where you know there is harmony. i believe it is wonderful to mark that. Not try to own it or hold it, just mark it. It does wonders, I believe.

That's the driving feeling in my life, even now. When you choose to know it and honor it, things change for the better.

When you choose to persevere in helping other people by working with them, not telling them what to do, you get joy ... and real social change happens.

When you choose at the same time to keep looking at what you personally are doing and try to improve whatever processes you notice. Repeatedly. For years. Big things happen.

This week Jhai is moving forward in Laos, Viet Nam, India, the Philippines, Bangladesh and the US. JhaiPCs are being produced in larger quantities in India. Almost all this work is being done by other people, my true friends and colleagues and partners.

I am thankful for this time to mourn and to help my birth family, wife and children.

The service for my mother will be at Grandview Cemetery in Glendale, California, USA, on November 21, 2009, at 1pm. It is open.

My mother asked in lieu of flowers, that gifts be given to the Jhai Foundation. I am forever thankful to her for life and to you for a life worth living.

yours, in Peace,

Lee Thorn
Chair, Jhai Foundation
350 Townsend St., Ste. 309
San Francisco, CA 94112 USA
+1 415 420 2870
lee@jhai.org
www.jhai.org (under reconstruction)

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